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By Shirley Holmes.

There are 80 quotes by Shirley Holmes in our database:


You're not just weird. You're sick.
(Bo to Shirley when she asked him to roll up his sleeves and his pant legs to check for burns; Burning Building).

You cops just keep getting younger and younger.
(Street woman to Shirley; Burning Building).

Bo: Why am I not surprised they have a dungeon?
Shirley: They stopped using it for detentions years ago.
(Bo & Shirley; Ruby Ring).

At a crime scene something is always taken, something is always left behind.
(Shirley; Ruby Ring).

Shirley: He just doesn't get it.
Peggy: On the contrary, I think he knows just what you're saying.
(Shirley & Peggy about teaching tricks to the dog; Liberated Beasts.).

For a diplomat's kid you sure have a lot to learn about diplomacy.
(Bo to Shirley; Precious cargo).

Bo: You want to be abducted by aliens?
Bart: Who wouldn't.
(Bo & Bart; Alien abductions).

What are you? A baby cop?
(Some guy to Shirley; Alien abductions).

Bo: So you admit you were wrong?
Shirley: The word wrong connotes a certain...
Bo: You're unbelievable.
(Bo & Shirley; Blazing Star).

Just once I'd like to eat lunch in the cafeteria.
(Bo to Shirley about always being looking for clues; Maestro's Ghost).

Shirley: Of course. Kule Kule is latin for rabbit. Bunny.
Bo: Yeah, and confused is English for... confused.
(Shirley & Bo; Maestro's Ghost).

Bo: My kid sister's gerbil bit the biscuit this morning.
Shirley: A lawnmower mishap.
(Bo & Shirley in disguise; Mystery Child).

Bo: Hypomania. A gradual onset over a period ten to fourteen days. Oh man.
Shirley: What?
Bo: Shirley, she's leaving Sussex cause she's got a guy.
(Bo & Shirley about Strattman; King of Hearts).

Ms. Strattman: Your friend should learn to trust her instincts. Trusting isn't easy, but for those prepared to take the risk the rewards are... incredible.
Shirley: But he'll break her heart.
Ms. Strattman: Shirley, Bo won't break your heart.
Shirley: Bo!
(Ms. Strattman & Shirley talk about love; King of Hearts).

Shirley: Are you more attracted to sensible people or imaginative people?
Bo: Neither. No, both.
Shirley: Are you more firm than gentle, or gentle than firm?
Bo: Shirley!
(Shirley & Bo read magazines to learn about flirting; King of Hearts).

Bo (typing): I am wild about golf.
Shirley: Wild?
Bo: What's wrong with wild.
Shirley: It sounds a little eager.
Bo: You mean cheap.
(Bo & Shirley flirt with a larcenist online; King of Hearts).

What did you do that for. We were doing so well. I think he liked us. We weren't cheap, we were direct, and we were honest...
(Bo after Shirley cuts the connection to the thief they were 'talking up' online; King of Hearts).

Of all the mysteries I've investigated love is the most perplexing. What makes rational intelligent people willingly relinquish their sanity. It beats me. But one thing's for sure: It's never going to happen to me...
(Shirley voiceover while Bo opens the door for her; King of Hearts).

Shirley: The mushroom. Why the mushroom got invited to the ball. 'Cause he was a fungi. Get it. Fun guy, fungi.
Bo: Shirley, do the world a favour and stick to being a Holmes.
(Shirley & Bo; Exact Change).

Robert: I've made an appointment with a psychotherapist for this afternoon.
Shirley: You're seeing a shrink about the phone bill?
(Robert & Shirley; Second Sight).

Bo: Any suggestions, doctor?
Shirley: An emergency lockectomy.
(Bo & Shirley open a lock; Second Sight).

Parker: Can't we play something normal like baseball?
Mr. Howie: Normal is relative Mr Parker- regrettably not a relative of yours.
(Parker & Mr. Howie; Rising Moon).

Jealousy is so self destructive.
(Alicia about Shirley being jealous of Bo & Katherine; Rising Moon).

Take my advice and stay away from Bo.
(Shirley to Katherine; Rising Moon).

It's not like you can stop yourself from being you.
(Bo about Shirley; Rising Moon).

Katherine: What are you doing in here?
Shirley: Looking for answers.
Katherine: In my closet.
Shirley: Actually, in your dresser.
(Katherine & Shirley; Rising Moon).

You've got some twisted idea haven't you?
(Bo to Shirley; Babyfingers).

Bo: Last week you did a 360 driving that go-kart.
Shirley: No I didn't.
Bo: Yeah you did.
Shirley: Anyway, this is different. City streets have speed limits.
(Bo & Shirley try to wire-start a car; Babyfingers).

Shirley: We need to start with an address. A Mr. Blech.
Bo: How do you spell that?
Shirley: Same as yech but with a Ble.
(Shirley & Bo; Babyfingers).

Irene: Hello, dear, is this your girlfriend.
Bo & Shirley: (adamantly) No!
(Irene, Bo & Shirley; Missing Marbles).

You know, I like your friend, but she is a bit daffy.
(Irene to Bo about Shirley; Missing Marbles).

Sorry Watson. You're staying in tonight. Would you rather bring a master spy to his knees or chase Mrs. Hurley's cat? (Watson walks out) Figures. Chase the cat.
(Shirley to her dog; Left Thumbprint).

Bo: Let's revisit the last crime scene.
Shirley: Why?
Bo: I don't know why. It's just something you'd do if you weren't...
Shirley: Losing it?
(Bo & Shirley; Left Thumbprint).

Paranormal 'R' Us.
(Bart; Wannabe Witch).

I just remembered I need a new... muffler.
(Mr. Howie panicking when he's about to be kissed; Wannabe Witch).

Ah, guys, I can't just let you leave. (Bo & Shirley glare at him) Unless you, of course, you want to.
(Parker; Bouncing Baby).

Great Caesar's Ghost!
(Mr. Howie; Bouncing Baby).

Bo: Hey, he's a baby, not a canteloupe.
Shirley: He's evidence.
(Bo & Shirley after Shirley pokes the baby; Bouncing Baby).

Come on Robo Rabbit. It's time to meet the cyber vet.
(Bo; Exploding Puppet).

Shirley: (entering boy's bathroom) Who screamed?
Bo: You don't have any boundaries, do you?
(Shirley & Bo; Cryptic Creature).

Stink: Not only that, it bit me!
Shirley: Let me see.
Stink & Bo: Shirley!!
(Stink, Shirley & Bo about Stink's buttocks; Cryptic Creature).

Shirley: I'm going to take a swab.
Stink: What!!
Shirley: From the toilet seat.
(Shirley & Stink; Cryptic Creature).

Shirley: It's OK Stink, we'll get to the bottom of this.
Bo: Hey Shirley.
Shirley: No pun intended.
(Shirley & Bo about Stink's butt-problem; Cryptic Creature).

Mr. Mitchell: Lenore was a beauty.
Shirley: Short hair, long hair?
Mr. Mitchell: Long, to her shoulders.
Bo: Your cat?
Mr. Mitchell: My wife. Marjorie's my cat.
(Mr. Mitchell, Shirley & Bo; Doggone Cats).

Mr. Mitchell: She sleeps all day, is aloof, and expects to be constantly pampered.
Bo: Your wife.
Mr. Mitchell: No, my cat.
Bo: So, Mr. Mitchell, how can you be sure Lenore, your wife, didn't steal Marjorie, your cat?
(Mr. Mitchell & Bo; Doggone Cats).

Barf's being framed. Where's the cat corpses? Where's the smoking gun?
(Stink about his dog; Doggone Cats).

You'd better tell her. She's gonna find out anyway.
(Bo to Bart about Shirley; Celestial Signal).

He has a Phd from M.I.T, an order of merit from NASA, space monitoring equipment... and a drawer full of empty chocolate wrappers.
(Shirley to Bo about Dr. Henry; Celestial Signal).

Bo: Woah. So you're saying we spent the last two days with a kid alien trapped in a man's body?
Shirley: I don't know what I'm saying.
(Bo & Shirley; Celestial Signal).

Alicia
(on a horse): How do I look?
Bo: Like a Spice girl with four legs.
Bart: Horsey Spice.
(Alicia, Bo & Bart; Galloping Ghost).

Matt: Everything you know about horses you learnt in a book didn't you?
Shirley: What's wrong with books?
Matt: Thought so.
(Matt & Shirley).

No, no, no. We're just friends.
(Famous last words by Bo; Galloping Ghost).

Alicia: Well, blush and eye shadow should work just as well.
Shirley: Alicia, you're brilliant.
Alicia: Do I detect a note of surprise?
(Alicia & Shirley about not having fingerprint dust; Galloping Ghost).

Bo: You let Alicia talk you into a makeover?
Shirley: It was the path of least resistance.
(Bo & Shirley; Crooked Comic).

You don't know Anita like I do.
(Bo about Shirley; Crooked Comic).

Listen my little pork chop. I think therefore I'm human. You don't think, therefore you're animal. And you don't belong on my bed.
(Mr. Howie to a pig; Flim Flam Farm).

Shirley: This is where the ghost disappeared.
Bo: As in presto, vanished?
Shirley: No, actually as in rested his bum on the fence and jumped over.
(Shirley & Bo; Flim Flam Farm).

What would Shirley do!
(Bo, Bart & Alicia; Mysterious Message).

Bo: You keep my fingerprints on file?
Shirley: What? Some people collect stamps. I collect fingerprints.
(Bo & Shirley; Code of Silence).

Bo: No way! Miss Strattman!
Shirley: She was a teenager?
Bo: No, she was a babe.
(Bo & Shirley; Bamboozling Blonde).

Strattman's idea of wild is not flossing after she eats.
(Bo; Bamboozling Blonde).

Shirley: Whoever's framing Ms. Strattman must have a grudge against her.
Bo: That narrows it down to about 400 students, 20 teachers and a couple of janitors.
(Shirley & Bo about Ms. Strattman; Bamboozling Blonde).

Constance: I could have been apirated.
Shirley: You mean asphyxiated.
(Constance & Shirley; Real Fake).

Constance: Why is he procreating?
Shirley: Procrastinating.
(Constance & Shirley; Real Fake).

Don't be nervous. Do what I do. Imagine everyone in the audience is dead.
(Molly to Constance; Real Fake).

I was beat up. By girls.
(Bo; Open Hand).

Bo: All I'm saying is that when girls are brutal, they're way more brutal than boys.
Alicia: The real point is girls finally have the right to be as brutal as boys.
(Bo & Alicia; Open Hand).

Pascal: Where'd you learn to fight. From your grandmother?
Shirley: Yup.
(Pascal & Shirley; Open Hand).

Shirley: So the guy only took tens. What do you make of that?
Tremaine: So the guy's an underachiever.
(Shirley & Tremaine; Ten Dollar Thief).

Dave: We? I can't drag a couple of kids into this.
Bo: Dave, Shirley drags herself.
(Dave & Bo; Ten Dollar Thief).

Peggy: Hello dear. Did you age 10 years when I wasn't looking?
Shirley: Just ah, experimenting with a new look.
(Peggy & Shirley about Shirley dressing up; Miraculous Mine).

Shirley: How do we get past them? What's the plan? You do have a plan don't you?
Mush: A plan costs extra.
(Shirley & Mush; Forbidden Mountain).

Pierre: Is everyone in your family like this?
Robert: Apparently.
(Pierre & Robert about Joanna & Shirley; Forbidden Mountain).

Bart: Parker, think for a minute, where would we be without math?
Bo: Is that a trick question?
(Bart & Bo after learning of the new no-math policy; Calculated Crime).

Shirley: Free computers and no math, there has to be a connection.
Bo: There is. I'm having the luckiest day of my life, possibly of anyone's life, ever.
(Shirley & Bo; Calculated Crime).

Bo: Some geniuses! They can't even count.
Matt: They're calculating pi.
Bo: Oh.
(Bo & Matt; Calculated Crime).

Matt: I still say my plan was better.
Shirley: Going back inside the school when you're already in trouble with them is not a plan, cowboy. It's unnecessary risk.
Bo: Oh really, and sending me in there isn't?
(Matt, Shirley & Bo; Calculated Crime).

Quiz Master: How would you deal with an irrational number?
Bo: Well, ah, first I'd try to reason with it.
(Bo in the math quiz; Calculated Crime).

Matt: How did he do that in his head?
Shirley: He didn't. Nine and a half is his shoe size.
(Matt & Shirley about Bo solving a very hard calculation; Calculated Crime).

Mr. Howie: Miss Holmes, what are you doing in my car?
Shirley: I just... found it more efficient than following you on my bike.
(Mr. Howie finds Shirley hiding under a blanket in the back seat of his car; Alien Abductions).