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Psych.

There are 71 quotes listed in the Psych category:


Shawn (Pretending to be Spellmaster at a Spelling Bee): Uh, Banana.
Contestant 118: Can you repeat that?
Shawn: Yes... Banana.
Gus (whispering): Banana, Shawn? It's the third round!
Shawn (whispering): You could have helped me!
Gus (whispering): This is a dead end, Shawn. We're walking.
Contestant 118: Definition, please.
Shawn (whispering): What?... (into microphone) A yellow fruit. Also, a kind of pudding. A delicious pudding.
Contestant 118: Sentence, please.
Shawn: Anna Banana would like to hear 'Venus' by Bananarama... Banana.
--Psych (The Spellingg Bee).

I'm so sorry my agonizing pain is inconveniencing you.
--Psych (Shawn, as Gus shh's him when he fell; The Spellingg Bee).

Gus: This thing has been sold out for weeks.
Shawn: I can see why. It moves so fast. It's like hockey with words.
--Psych (Shawn and Gus argue about the Spelling Bee finals ceremony; The Spellingg Bee).

This isn't funny, Shawn!
--Psych (Gus in, like, every episode).

Is that Lassiter? What died on his face?
--Psych (Lassiter is wearing a fake beard & mustache; Weekend Warriors).

Receptionist: There is a Lt. Crunch here to see you.
Gus: Crunch?
(Shawn enters dressed in Civil War uniform).
Shawn: Actually I've been promoted. It's Captain Crunch.
--Psych (Weekend Warriors).

Lassiter: Don't think I didn't see you trying to throw M&M's in the injured soldiers' mouths.
Shawn: Okay, first of all, those were Skittles and they have a rainbow of flavor.
--Psych (Weekend Warriors).

Chief Vick: My water just broke.
Lassiter: Are you sure?
Chief Vick: No, Carlton, there's water spilling out of me for some other reason.
Lassiter: Oh. No... Oh, can you move my briefcase?
--Psych (Shawn vs The Red Phantom).

Juliet (handing Shawn her notebook): Take a look at that, tell me what you think.
Shawn: Flower doodle in the upper right-hand corner is excellent. This horse at the bottom doesn't look anything like My Little Pony.
Juliet: The writing, not the-- That's a dog. I draw when I get anxious.
Shawn: I think you made a wise decision not going into animation, Juliet.
--Psych (Shawn vs The Red Phantom).

Malone Breyfogle? I can tell you this much: kid's been lifted up by his underwear more than once.
--Psych (Shawn about a kidnapping victim; Shawn vs The Red Phantom).

Shawn: Simba, I am your father.
Gus: Mufasa never said that.
Shawn: Mufasa, Darth Vader, it's all James Earl Jones.
--Psych (Forget Me Not).

Gus: I think I just got a lap dance from Patrick Swayze!
Shawn: Like an impersonator?
Gus: No, I think it really was Patrick Swayze!
--Psych (Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

There is a witness. There's a cat. I want to talk to that cat as soon as he's finished licking himself. (Shawn continues watching the cat). Wow... I'm jealous.
--Psych (9 Lives).

Gus: What does this mean?
Shawn: I have no idea but I see it on Numb3rs all the time and it seems to work for them.
--Psych (Shawn scribbles on a transparent board; 9 Lives).

Oh ye immoral man of low fiber! You should really eat more bran.
--Psych (Shawn to Mahoney; Weekend Warriors).

Henry: The truth, Shawn. You're not really my son, are you? Because I gave you a watch with the inscription, 'Don't Lose,' and what is the first thing that you do?
Shawn: I lose the watch.
Henry: You lose the watch!
Shawn: Well, here's a news flash Dad. My birthday wasn't yesterday, okay? It was... four months ago.
Henry: Yeah, well here's a news flash for you, kid. After you were born, it took you four months to smile at me. That's when the clock started ticking.
--Psych (Weekend Warriors).

I wouldn't have gone with something as traditional as 'We clear?' You could have gone foreign. 'Right, compadre?' 'Capisce?' Could have had a little fun with it: 'You dig my jist, sweet pants?' (Pause). These are just suggestions.
--Psych (Shawn to Lassie; Weekend Warriors).

Good, you found a pencil. Now we can all take the SATs.
--Psych (Lassie to Shawn after one of his 'psychic' episodes; Weekend Warriors).

Juliet: Where are you?
Shawn: On the phone, where are you?
--Psych (Shawn's unique brand of flirting; Shawn vs The Red Phantom).

I only need you for a minute, like when Kenickie needed Danny Zuko. And you get to be Travolta in the analogy.
--Psych (Shawn to Gus; From The Earth To Starbucks).

Okay, what are you doing? You're putting a negative spin on things, as usual. Look, might they have a few more obstacles than your typical couple if she turns out to be a cold blooded killer, sure! What if they really fall in love, Dad?
--Psych (Shawn to his dad about Gus using his house for a pseudo-date with a suspect they need to question; He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead).

Shawn: (To Juliet's date). I'm sensing that you're gonna face a lot of ah, um, rejection.
Kyle: You mean work wise or...
Shawn: No, no, not work wise. Not work wise... you know what, I'm gonna go.
--Psych (Shawn's unique brand of jealousy; He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead).

Henry (To a young Shawn): Alright, tell me, what's the name of this kid who hit you.
Young Shawn: Elizabeth.
--Psych (Shawn arrives home with a black eye; He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead).

Shawn: Matter of fact, LEGO wants to sponsor me this year.
Juliet: Oh my god, that's great.
Shawn: They also want me to wear shoes made out of LEGOs, so I'm torn.
--Psych (Shawn tries to impress Juliet by telling her he's an excellent bowler; He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead).

Juliet: I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answers to.
Shawn: Then never ask your boyfriend if he thinks your sister's hot.
Juliet: I don't have a sister.
Shawn: How about a boyfriend?
--Psych (Shawn vs The Red Phantom).

I'm sorry, did that joke just arrive in a time machine from 1992?
--Psych (Shawn to Gus; Shawn vs The Red Phantom).

Juliet: You're not hired. I can't pay you. If it turns out there's something to it, I'll make sure you get put on the case. That's all I can do.
Shawn: Juliet, I'm quite sure we could work out some kind of services exchange. You see, I like to do some sketching myself and sometimes I need a model.
Juliet: Huh! (gets up and walks from the room).
Shawn: Was that inappropriate? ...Felt ok.
--Psych (Shawn vs The Red Phantom).

And Dad... Dad throws a curve ball. (Has a 'psychic' moment). Nope, wait... it was a slider.
--Psych (Shawn and his analogies; Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

Juliet: Oh, I thought you were here for a wedding.
Shawn: I am... ish.
--Psych (Shawn is invited to the wedding and wants to do some digging; Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

Lassiter: His responses to my interrogation were hostile at best.
Juliet: Clarify hostile.
Lassiter: Use my tone now as a guide.
--Psych (Juliet doubts her partner's hunches; Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! She's running?! In those heels? Really?
--Psych (Shawn stares in awe as his main suspect runs away; Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

Shawn: Here, let me read your palm.
Juliet: How 'bout just one finger?
--Psych (Juliet is skeptical; Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

Uh, Lassiter has this insane idea that this is an elaborate heist like on par with Oceans Eleven or Thomas Crown or, uh, the one where they kill Donald Sutherland in the first 10 minutes-- the remake.
--Psych (Shawn tells Gus about Lassie's plans; Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

Lassiter: If I catch you anywhere near this case, I will throw every book I can find at you.
Shawn: What if you find the Bible? You gonna throw that too? Seems a little sacrilegious to me, don't you think?
--Psych (Shawn & Lassie; Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

It's creepy that you kept this!
--Psych (Shawn to his dad about his eighth grade doghouse; Spellingg Bee).

Gus: He let you into his briefing?
Shawn: He does when you're in the air shaft.
--Psych (Shawn is aware of Lassie's plans; Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Piece).

Kudos on the childrearing. Let me know how the therapy goes.
--Psych (Shawn to a Spelling Bee Contestant's mother; Spellingg Bee).

Shawn: Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen. (Dramatic music). I will be your narrator. My name is Aurora... (Pause) Borealis! There are over four... hundred stars in our galaxy, maybe more. No one knows for sure. Many have said the universe is even larger than the Indian ocean, that is why it is called Infinitum Starioctpusium. (Constellations come up). Ah yes, our glorious constellations, take a look. Over here we have... one with a guy... holding some sort of... thing. Over here, our beloved Olympic rings, all seven of them. And here, here's one with a fish.
Vernon: You gotta name them.
Shawn: Notice straight, straight above you, the Hammer of Jeff. And over there to the south...
Vernon: North.
Shawn: ...North, you will see Monkey with Rash. The Egyptians used to set their clocks by it. (Comet crosses the sky). Oh look, there goes an asteroid.
Vernon: Comet.
Shawn: Comet. It's what they named that cleaning solution after. I know it may stink if you leave it in the sink, but boy, oh boy, does it clean.
--Psych (Shawn narrates an Astronomy presentation; From the Earth to Starbucks).

Juliet: I need a drink.
Shawn: I gotta pee.
--Psych (Shawn & Jules' response to their being a 100 percent match in the personality questionnaires of the speed dating event; He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He's Dead).

Gus: How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?
Shawn: What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share?
--Psych (9 Lives).

Gus: You want me to wear a wire?
Shawn: Just this little baby one.
--Psych (Gus is going out with a suspect and Shawn wants to listen in; From The Earth To Starbucks).

Mr. Sirtis... the spirits can be... bashful, sometimes grumpy... sleepy, dopey...
Gus: Shawn!
Shawn: ...Sneezy...

--Psych (Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

Shawn: But my arms are slenderer... slenderer?
Gus: What?
Shawn: Slenderer...
Gus: Skinnier?
Shawn: Yes!
--Psych (Poker? I Barely Know Her!).

Henry: Shawn! What are you doing here?
Shawn: I don't know. I guess I took a wrong turn and ended up in the Twilight Zone. What the hell's going on here?
--Psych (About finding Henry having lunch with Lassiter; Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

Gus: So the prophecy has been fulfilled.
Shawn: Hmm. What? What are you talking about? What prophecy?
Gus: I just figured it was finally my chance to say something dramatic.
--Psych (Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

Shawn: Ew. How Grody of her.
Tennis Player: Grody?
Shawn: Grody to the max. Grody with a spoon. Work with me here, I don't know what the kids are saying these days.
--Psych (Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

Shawn: Gus, I feel good about this. She's gonna be here, safe and sound. (An ambulance and police car come into view).
Gus: Or not.
--Psych (Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

Shawn: Right, I'd never seen a girl lie about entering the witness protection program.
Gus: She wasn't lying, Shawn.
Shawn: Gus, I saw her at Starbucks.
Gus: You can't be sure of that.
Shawn: She was wearing a name tag, she had a plaque on the wall. Employee of the Month. Her hobbies were hiding, and lying about hiding.
--Psych (Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

Juliet: Shawn, I can't just give you a case because Gus is out of town this weekend and you're lonely.
Shawn: Fine, maybe together we can figure out how I can be less lonely. Wait, I'm getting something... baby oil. (Juliet walks away).
--Psych (Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

Tennis Girl: You know what her weakness was...
Shawn: Kittens?
--Psych (Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

That's funny, it sounded like someone just said sharing stick dude get out of there!
--Psych (Game, Set, Muuuurder?).

You didn't think there was any way you could be blamed, because clouds don't kill people... people kill people.
--Psych (Cloudy... Chance of Murder).

Hornstock: My firm doesn't really believe in...
Shawn: Winning?
Hornstock: No.
Shawn: Mermaids?
Hornstock: No.
Shawn: The Minotaur?
Hornstock: Me.
--Psych (Cloudy... Chance of Murder).

We're citing unfair suprisery!
--Psych (Shawn addresses the judge; Cloudy... Chance of Murder).

Shawn: Hornstock, I think you have the potential to be a fantastic lawyer. You just need confidence. After all, that is your name on the door. Now come on!
Hornstock: Oh no, no, no. None of those Hornstocks are me. The first one is my grandfather; he founded the firm. The middle one, my father, then my brother.
Gus: Wow, whole family of lawyers.
Hornstock: Yeah, even my sister.
Shawn: Well, there you go, she didn't make the door.
Hornstock: She's Biederman, it's her married name.
--Psych (Cloudy... Chance of Murder).

Gus: So what is it now, Hornstock, Hornstock, Hornstock, Biederman and Hornstock?
Hornstock: We had to get wider doors, but yes.
--Psych (Cloudy... Chance of Murder).

Shawn: That's very Cameron Frye of you.
Brandon: Cameron who?
Shawn: Wow, are we that much older than you?
--Psych (Shawn's usual movie references that a bunch of people don't get; Poker? I Barely Know Her!).

Henry: What about your licence?
Shawn: My pilot's license? Out back in the Cessna. Or perhaps you're referring to my licence to kill. Revoked. Problems at the Kazakhstan border. I could give you the details but then I'd have to kill you which I can't do because my licence to kill has been revoked.
--Psych (Poker? I Barely Know Her!).

You have a Dad crush on me. Let's hug it out. Come on, give me a hug.
--Psych (Shawn to Henry as the father admits to having vouched for his son; Poker? I Barely Know Her!).

Henry: I might have mentioned to Peterson accidentally that... uh... you might be able to help.
Shawn: Ooh, time out! Flag on the play! Did you vouch for me?
--Psych (Ah, Father-Son love; Poker? I Barely Know Her!).

Gus, don't be a gooey chocolate chip cookie.
--Psych (Shawn to Gus; Poker? I Barely Know Her!).

Felicia Fancybottom?! What am I, a James Bond villain?
--Psych (Gus to Shawn as the latter thinks up a fake name for him to pretend to be a woman to make a missing man come out of hiding; Poker? I Barely Know Her!).

Shawn: What I'm going to need from you is an article of clothing, preferably an undergarment.
Juliet: Don't you usually get that from the victim?
Shawn: I've seen it both ways. I'm going to have to take a look around to see what I feel. Starting with the bedrooms.
--Psych (Shawn acts the psychic at a sorority house; Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast).

My name is Ichabod Fletchman, Sticky-Icky to my boys. But that's neither here, nor there.
--Psych (Shawn's undercover identity while meeting a suspect; Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast).

Juliet: Holy Shih Tzu!
Shawn: Excuse me?
Juliet: This nail polish is already starting to chip.
--Psych (Juliet can't get out of character; Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast).

Juliet: I need a psychic to read the sorority house. Can you come by tonight?
Shawn: Can we wear pajamas?
Juliet: No.
Shawn: Even better.
--Psych (Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast).

Shawn: I can't believe this.
Gus: We actually started an urban legend!
Shawn: That's dope!
--Psych (Gus & Shawn babbled about Sherry's 'suicide' when they were nine; Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast).

Gus: Now everybody on my mom's side of the family thinks that I'm a psychic detective, and they think you're...
Shawn: Gay?
Gus: No.
Shawn: German?
Gus: No.
Shawn: Invisible?
Gus: My assistant.
--Psych (A little miscommunication; Meat Is Murder, But Murder Is Also Murder).

Young Shawn: Okay, I'm going to take your pointy sad-faced guy for my horsey guy.
Henry: (pointing to the knight) Stop! What is this piece called?
Young Shawn: I call him Dwight.
Henry: (pointing to the bishop) What is this one called?
Young Shawn: B.A. Baracus.
--Psych (Henry teaches Shawn to play chess; If You're So Smart, Then Why Are You Dead?).

Lassiter: Just so we're clear, (he holds his hand high) here are real detectives. (He holds up his other hand, much further down) Bounty hunters are here. (He moves the first hand directly on top of the second) And psychics are here.
Shawn: Dude, we beat out bounty hunters!
Lassiter: By a knuckle.
Shawn: Where are orthodontists on this list?
--Psych (Lassie explains Shawn's place; Bounty Hunters!).

Henry: Oh, Shawn, what have I told you a thousand times before?
Young Shawn: Don't hide Gus in the pantry?
--Psych (Meat Is Murder, But Murder Is Also Murder).